Thanksgiving Blessings

Oh my goodness, my heart is overfilled with blessings this Thanksgiving...Addi is almost 9 months clean! Woo hoo! Yay! She has been such a joy to have around. Her infectious laughter is back; her smile is so bright; her beautiful eyes dance again; and she enjoys the things she used to love-- like reading, learning, being around her family. My heart is overjoyed with happiness for my family and especially for her. I know that right now, right here in November 2016, that we are VERY blessed and fortunate. I know there are others who are not as fortunate as we are this holiday season--and I am praying for all of you and your families who are wishing and praying for a miracle. I know I am fortunate to have my daughter still on earth. I do not forget that, for it weighs heavy on my heart, that so many are missing their loved ones this Thanksgiving.

I am so thankful for her life; for the fact she went to Teen Challenge last March; and that her life has taken the turns it has. I am also thankful for all the support and love that so many have shown our family this year. I am thankful that so many of you who have lost your own child, have spoken up, answered the call and are trying to save other lives.

I'm so thankful for the Southwest Missouri Alliance for making all of my ideas a reality and making them bigger and better than I could have imagined.

I am thankful that almost a year ago, Pastor Robin Sigars, ran into my daughter in a Casey's Convenience Store and prayed with her, knowing she was impaired. Even in her biggest haze--she never forgot that moment between them...and 3 weeks ago, he baptized her. In the presence of her hometown, she was baptized and when her smile came across the big screen in the church, it impacted my heart like I hadn't felt in a long time. All of her grandparents, aunt and uncle, cousins and brother and sister in law were all present...and we all wept. It was one of the joyous moments of my entire life. I know that this is just the beginning of a new chapter in her life and know that her story has the ability to give hope to so many people.

One day at a time.

I am thankful for all the friends and loved ones that have rallied around her, to show her how very important she is in this world.

I'm thankful for my friends, Scott and Alissa Brock; my new friends-the Krokroskia's, the French's, the Baker's, the Brown's (and Aggus;), the Loveall's, the Armstrong's and Harper's--who have all loaned us the images of their beloved kids, who lost their lives to the ugly disease of addition. They want to save even ONE life. I know they are touching lives every single day. I am so grateful that they are willing to endure the pain of seeing their baby on a billboard, to help someone else. I know they weren't technically "babies"--but they will ALWAYS be their babies.

I'm thankful for Kelsey, Jessi and Addi who were brave enough to share their own photos and stories. I know it has put them in a limelight that is often difficult and they are constantly stared at, with skepticism. I love and support all 3 of them, who are vastly different people, yet, so much alike. They are champions and they WILL win the fight. Please continue to pray for them.

I'm thankful for my husband, who has been the most loving, compassionate and supportive mate. I cannot thank God enough for him. He is an awesome father, husband and friend. I do not deserve him.

I'm thankful for criticism. It has helped me to better myself and to learn that my opinion isn't the only one that matters. I am human.

Lastly, I am thankful to God. I have ignored you a lot in my life. I've often times only talked to you, when I needed you. Now I know, that I need to talk to you, even in my happiest moments. I know now that you have been with us this whole time, and that you have a plan. I know Addi's life is in your hands.

For all of you who are struggling with sadness or addiction or missing a loved one this Thanksgiving---please know that there IS light and God DOES have a plan...and know that my family is praying for you...every single day.

The Passion of People

This last month has shown the passion of people in the largest extent. We all have been passionate about issues that interest us. Whether it is about football, religion, addiction, children, soccer, dance...and yes, the ELECTION. Politics has basically taken over every household in America. Sadly, it has brought the worst out in so many of us, including myself.

The last month has been a difficult one for my family, yet has also been an eye opener. We had just appeared with Senator Blunt in a round table discussion about addiction and the drug problems in Missouri and in less than a week, we found ourselves in a situation we didn't expect. Without notice, we made the decision to move Addi back home with us. Without notice, I felt hurt and disappointment in PEOPLE. However, today, I sat in a church service and listened to the awesome Robin Sigars talk about "grace"; about loving people who do not have the same views as you; and how a person shouldn't let their own pride stand in their way of loving other people. That is exactly what I have allowed myself to do these past few weeks. I have allowed my own stance of being "right" to overshadow my own faith and my own happiness. People fail people. People are imperfect. I am imperfect. I fail people.

It is hard to decipher what a person should do in the time of strife. Sometimes our passions get the best of us and lately I haven't even blogged for fear I would say something I regret.  I have personal critics who post about me on social media. I have certain people that hope my daughter fails so that they will feel better about their own choices. I have people who criticize me for not being anonymous about her addiction and I have people who don't agree with me encouraging the 12 Steps. The true reality is--I cannot please everyone, nor can any person. We are all on this earth to co-exist and truly, the one thing we can and should have in common is GRACE. We should all look upon each other with forgiving, non-judgmental eyes.  In an era where we ALL get our feelings hurt, we all have our "platforms" and we all have the issues that mean most to us---we should understand that EVERYONE does.

When someone stumbles, we must exercise compassion. It is easy for me to sit here and type, knowing my daughter has 8 months of sobriety under her belt, is doing well in college and has a passion for God that inspires me. It was easy for me to become comfortable with "out of sight-out of mind" and to enjoy the days that she was tucked away, safe from the world---but is that the right way to feel? Probably not. She is my daughter and ultimately this is where her family is and where she should be. Currently, she is flourishing in an environment that I once believed destroyed her. Rather, she feels the need to scream at the top of her lungs, "There is a way out of the darkness" that others may not see. She has the grace to help others. She has grace to do the "dirty work."  I don't. I am a work in progress. I can easily type all day long and talk to safe rooms of people, but there is another side of me, when I see a name from her past, that I feel like "Never talk to that dirt bag again or I will slit his throat." That is wrong of me. That dirtbag is still someones son, someones brother, someones father, perhaps. Grace is not delved out to people selectively, when it is true and pure grace.

We all have our passions. We all have our "soap box" and we all have certain issues that trip our triggers more than others---but in all reality, we are all just "people." When you set your eyes on "people" you are bound to be disappointed each and every time. So--fill your week with grace, fill your week with optimism and also, know---THERE IS LIGHT. When you feel passionate, remember...we are all just people.