I'm NOT Angry...I'm Enlightened.

Well, it’s been 30 days since I started my blog. I’ve been really touched by the support from my friends, acquaintances and even strangers who have reached out to me. I have had a lot of private messages from concerned individuals that I’m either harboring anger or that I blame other people for my daughter’s addiction. I’m not writing this blog to rant, rave and complain. I’m writing it because people are so reluctant to talk about it openly. I’m writing about it because I’m not ashamed of my family’s journey. I’m not ashamed of my daughter. I love her just as deeply as I did the moment I held her the very first time. Am I disappointed? Yes, I am. Am I hurt? You bet. Am I angry? I guess so. Sure, at times.

I am not only irritated with her decisions, however; I’m irritated with the drug problem as a whole. I'm irritated that so many people are completely oblivious to the problem, or don't care, because it doesn't effect their family personally. I'm very angry that the United States FDA is allowing the release of a new medication that is even stronger than oxycotin and that they have been advised NOT to release this medication into our society---yet they are doing it anyway.  (Google Zohydro--it will anger you too). I’m frustrated that some of the same people who were dishing out pills to my daughter and many kids who are now either in prison or dead---are still dishing out pills.  Yes, I’m angry with that and you should be too. Is there an easy solution to the problem? No, there isn’t and I’ve been learning that the hard way. 

This week I’ve reflected on things that have been a thorn in my side and I am attempting to reach out to volunteer my time to help in my community. I am hoping if I take a different approach rather than just being an intrusive, complaining constituent, that maybe, just maybe, I can make a bigger difference. I want to see a Drug Court instituted in Jasper County, Missouri. I have researched this topic thoroughly and evidence overwhelmingly indicates that the system we are using here---isn't working. I want to see a system recognized by the State which keeps statistical information and tracks results. I want to know how many people are participating in the program; and I want to see it appropriately supervised---otherwise, it won't work. I’ve requested information and can't get any feedback---so rather, I have contacted other counties and states to inquire about their Drug Courts. Each and every county I spoke to, were thrilled to tell me about their programs. They are proud of their success. They are saving taxpayers approximately $10,000 per year per offender by instituting the Drug Court. In Tulsa County, for example, they have incorporated such a system that they have an impressive success rate. They offer vouchers for public transportation so that people in the program can get to and from work. Often times, drug offenders do not have a valid license. With the transportation vouchers, that is no longer a valid excuse to remain unemployed. They require offenders in the program to submit to random drug testing multiple times per month. They require those in the program to be employed, be responsible...and they are changing lives. Why wouldn’t a county want to save the taxpayers money? Why wouldn’t a county want to free up space in the overcrowded jails? To me, it’s a no- brainer. Law enforcement officials and Courts are overwhelmed with drug cases and most of the offenders are going unpunished due to lack of resources.  I know there are outstanding people in my community and I know they do not want this county to be known for rampant drug use or leniency on drug offenders. I simply think this area has been inundated with problems that have become larger than what our local government can handle. It’s a common problem throughout this nation, unfortunately. It's not just a problem in my state or county.

So, I guess you could say I’m a woman on a mission. My heart aches for the parents who have had to bury their children. My heart aches for the parents who have no idea where their child is tonight. My heart aches for the people who are held captive by addiction and have no one to talk to and don’t know where to turn. If my little blog can shed any light of hope on those people, or bring any sort of comfort to parents like me, then I’ve accomplished a personal goal. My goal is not to isolate my friends in the legal community. My goal is not to beat up on the law enforcement officials. I’ll tell you quite candidly, if it weren’t for my county’s legal community—my daughter would not be alive today. That goes from the law office that employed her, to the Judge and Prosecutor who helped me get her to treatment. I am eternally grateful. One of my very best male friends is an attorney and he stood beside me in Court and helped me get my daughter into treatment. I love those people and they are my friends. Without their help, she wouldn't be here. She wouldn't be alive. I know it in my heart. I just want to give other addicts the same help that we were able to give her. I want to help people who want to be helped.  I’m not angry with my elected officials. I just want to help them, help others.  I guess I'm not angry as much as I am just no longer naive.  I want to roll up my sleeves and help. I don't want to be a threat or addition to the problem. I want to help find some solutions. 

I hope that clears up any questions regarding my mood or motive. 

Big stuff happening in our lives this week. Talk to you in a few days.

Everyone stay safe in the icy weather!



Update:

The State of Missouri informed me that Jasper County does have an adult drug court. If anyone within that program could tell me 1) The program requirements; 2) the amount of participants; 3) Who is handling the monitoring of participants; 4) the criteria for an offender to be able to participate; 5) the success rate; and 6) how much money the State of Missouri provides for funding the program....I would sincerely appreciate that information.