I am the mother of a drug addict. It's really painful to write that, because my son is so much more than that. He is my handsome, loving, smart, and wildly funny boy I raised. He is also a friend, a brother, a grandson, a nephew, the "big cousin", and he is a father, without his children because of drugs.
He was such a great kid in High School. He was the kid other parents wanted their kid to hang out with. He was well liked, and loved to play football, held down decent grades and a job. He decided not to go to college right away. So instead, he landed a great job as a driver recruiter for Conway Trucking. By 21 he had a beautiful daughter, and bought his first house. He was really going places! We were so proud..... and we were ignorant. Ignorant in believing that our job was nearly done. Ignorant in believing that drugs happen to other families, not ours. Ignorant about keeping prescriptions locked up. Also ignorant in not knowing the signs of drug abuse.
Shortly after moving into the new house, he and his girlfriend broke up, she took the baby and moved out, rightly so. Not long after that, he had "friends" hanging around we didn't know. Then two roommates moved in, guys we had never met. Things were spiraling out of control. About 6 mos. into it, one of his "friends" called us at around 1am to report they couldn't wake him up. We lived only about a mile away, and flew over there in seconds. There were drunk/drugged out kids everywhere, and no one had even called an ambulance! I ran to his room where I find my son, my baby, laying on his back, his eyes wide open and fixed on the ceiling, and only breathing a deep snoring breath every once in awhile. With my sons head in my lap, and my phone propped between my ear and shoulder I called 911 while beating his chest and begging him to just breath one more time, until help arrived. That was his 1st OD, 7 years ago.
The past 7 years have been a living nightmare. We've had recoveries and relapses. We've had binges that have lasted weeks. We've had hundreds of sleepless nights, and I seriously can't remember the last time a Friday came to start the weekend where I wasn't petrified until Monday would come with the sweet relief that he has lived through another weekend.
Three years ago, we were in another binge cycle. He was looking pretty rough, and we barely ever had a conversation that didn't include paranoia and delusions. I was absolutely sure that we didn't have much more time left with him, weeks, maybe a couple months. He called one evening and asked us to come over, that he had a big decision to make. We had spoken to him several times about going into rehab. We prayed all the way to his house that his "big decision" had something to do with rehab. When we got there, one of his "friends" was there. We knew this kid, he and our son had grown up and played little league together. We had seen this kid really go downhill because of drugs. He looked good though, he'd gained some weight, his color was pretty good, he was talking clearer, and he just seemed to have a little of his spark back. He started to tell us about a new rehab in Joplin. BHG. It's a new "program" called Medically Assisted Treatment, or MATs. It's where they give you a daily dose of Methadone, Suboxone or another drug like it to wean you off opiates/heroin. We couldn't help but be excited. We've been living a nightmare for years, and our son brought this to us, as an option he could do. So, we made an appointment with BHG, we went with him to support him and show some family solidarity. We even paid for getting the whole thing started. There is a sea of regrets I swim in daily, but that one is huge! We ACTUALLY paid money to get our son deeper into addiction!
He has been a paying customer ($75 a week, upfront. Not covered by any medical insurance) of BHG for 3 years. Not once have they tried to wean him off, quite the contrary, they have told him that he will be on this "medicine" for life! And God help him, because he believes that! That is not rehab. That is legally selling drugs to fragile people who are sick and don't have the financial means to go into real treatment. Treatment that would address the mental illness factor that’s an underlying cause of almost all addicts. That is unacceptable! My son has been under BHG care for 3 years, that's nearly $12,000 so far. Here's what he gets for that kind of money:
He has slid off the rails several times under their care. In March (just 5 months ago) was his latest binge. He had been using massive amounts of steroids, three weeks in his “cycle” he has a psychotic break. Gets crazy paranoid and has hallucinations. So he then goes for benzo type drugs (ie. xanax) to get a handle on it. When that doesn't work he just keeps adding drugs. Seriously, go onto one of the Trem forums, they actually suggest taking Molly or Meth to tone down the schizophrenic behavior. I called the police to please come get him, I'm afraid he's going to kill himself or someone else because he's hallucinating that people are trying to kill him. I'm told they can't do anything until he does something. I have to wonder if that’s what was said to the movie theater shooter’s family who tried desperately to get him help before the tragedy. Long story short, nearly one week later, the police sent a swat team to go in after him, because the neighbor said he heard gunfire. They arrest him on a couple minor traffic bench warrants. He is out of his head, talking about bearded women and green stretchy men in his house torturing him and trying to kill him. The police take him to jail, instead of a hospital? I still can not understand that! I called at least 3 times explaining to them that while he is on drugs right now, he had a psychotic break the week before, he needs to go to the hospital. The police keep him nearly the full 24hrs. When he hasn't came down, and their psych eval can't say for certain if it's a drug problem or a mental problem, they call me, say they are taking him to the hospital, that he's not under arrest. (Then what was the last 23 and a half hours in jail all about?) I get to the hospital and discover he now has a broken hand, and the police literally just dropped him off at the door. After further testing he can't be cleared for detox because he's very dehydrated, his kidneys were shutting down, and his liver was in bad shape. I have to fill out an affidavit to have him committed for at least 96 hrs. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do as a mother. He's eventually released from the hospital into Freeman Hospitals Stevens Unit for mental eval. I'm assured that he'll be there at least a week because his 96hrs didn't start until he got there, on a Friday, and weekends don't count. That Monday I get a phone call that he's being released. Turns out Dr. Saba runs the Stevens Unit, AND also runs BHG, the methadone clinic. Since she has been "treating" him for 3 years, she “knows” him, thus essentially making my affidavit just a piece of blank paper, tossed away. That’s what he gets for nearly $12,000 over the past 3 years, a drug pusher who gets him out of a jam to ensure she doesn’t lose a customer.
How is it possible, or legal for a doctor who evaluates drug patients at a Freeman Hospital Mental Unit, is also the same doctor who runs the clinic who sells drugs to addicts? This begs the question, what kind of kickbacks does Dr. Saba and Freeman Hospital get from the drug companies producing these drugs? Who at Freeman Hospital made the call that she could do both? Are BHG, Freeman Hospital, and The Ozark Center owned and/or managed by the same group? Why is Freeman Hospital and the Ozark Center the only option in Joplin for mental health services? Yes, Mercy’s Hawthorne Center has services for acute situations, but once your loved one is released, the only follow up care in Joplin is through Freeman/Ozark Center. The only exception being if you have great insurance or can pay in full out of pocket, then you can avoid the Freeman snare. But how fair is that in a city whose median household income is $38,192, and where 15.8% of Joplin residents live below the federal poverty line, where most of the addiction and mental health care is needed?
These MAT clinics DO NOT WORK! It's common sense. You don't give an alcoholic a shot of whiskey every morning to be functional and call it a cure. These MAT clinics are set up to look like a medical facility, but they are just privately owned businesses selling their product. As usual, our government is jumping all over this idea as a viable option because it's the easy way out. Addicts in recovery, real recovery, abstaining from all drugs, will tell you over and over again that these clinics are a scam for money and actually kept them in the addiction longer.
I just have one question for you Mr/Ms Lawmaker. If you were to walk into your child's room, and they were unconscious with a needle in their arm, would sending them to a storefront business, in a strip mall, where they buy a methadone fix everyday, for $75.00 a week, just to keep them "functional" be a real treatment option for you and your family? I’m guessing not. Because it’s every bit as crazy as it sounds.
We can, and MUST do better for everyone involved! Please help me find some reasonable solutions for this ever growing problem. This isn’t a class problem anymore. This isn’t a race problem anymore. This isn’t a generational problem anymore. This isn’t a junkie problem anymore. This is everyone’s problem now.
Sincerely,
Michele (A Southwest Missouri Mom)
