Why Us? What Happened?

I've been approached by so many people lately with the same statement..."How did this happen to your family? It could have easily been my own."  My response is always, "yes, you are right. It could have been...or it could be."  The one thing my family have wanted out of this blog is to raise awareness; to make others see the signs I missed; or to save someone else who may be teetering on the same path my daughter chose. If we could save even one person or one family, this public airing of our faults, would be worth it. 

This week, I had a good week, but a stressful week. On Monday, I played in a golf tournament. I got a call from Washington, DC that said Senator Blunt wanted to speak with me. I couldn't very well abandon my partner (not that she needed my help) or talk on the phone during a tourney, so we made arrangements for us to have a phone call on Thursday morning. 

Let's go back in time for a moment. In 1997, I was the mom of two kids, who were 7 and 5, when Roy Blunt just won the United States House of Representatives race. I was approached by a fella from my home town (who thought I was funny and smart) about working in the congressional office in Joplin. I had just enrolled back at college, to pursue a degree in Communications and a minor in Political Science. This was a chance of a lifetime for me. I got the job, beginning January 1998. I worked for Roy for 4 years. It was during the Clinton administration and the impeachment, so it was not the greatest time to be dealing with the constituent calls in Southwest Missouri. I burnt out on politics during that time, so I resigned to work at a law office. Now that I have worked in domestic law for about 14 years, I think I was just destined to work in a field that I get to hear people call about their grievances. Roy was a fantastic boss. I loved my job and loved the opportunity and I still to this day, have on my dresser, a jewelry box, he gave me for Christmas from Peru. I made him sign the bottom of it. Roy has a way of making you feel welcome and he listens and he is just a good man. No political spin in this--I tell it like it is---he was a great boss. Truly. 

This week, I found myself wondering, how did this end up like this? I'm getting ready to have a conference call with a United States Senator about opiate reform. I'm getting ready to talk to a United States Senator about the heroin epidemic in JoMo. How did this happen to us? I wasn't that nervous about talking to him until my husband said "This is a very big deal, you realize. There are only 100 of them in the nation. The fact he is taking the time to talk to you, you better have your ducks in a row."  I was thinking "Me?"  Ducks??? I don't need ducks. I have facts. I have lived this hellacious roller coaster." The more I got to thinking about it, the more nervous I got. I had so many things I wanted to say. I became so nervous that I emailed his scheduler, who I consider my very dear friend, in DC and said "Ok, this is a big deal." He wrote me back and said "Steph, it's just Roy and you. Talk to him like its Roy."  I thought "Ok, I can do this." 

I didn't sleep a wink. I stayed up for 4 hours just writing down the thoughts and concerns and changes that I felt needed to be made and the help we need in SW Missouri. Note after note. I messaged my friends in the Southwest Missouri Alliance and they were so helpful, but I was still so nervous, it was ridiculous. In one week, I had bantered with some ass from St. Joseph about the Prescription Drug Monitoring Program and ended up in the Joplin Globe and now this week I was getting a conference call with a United States Senator. Me. Stephanie. Wow. This was all too surreal. 

The next morning, I got up extra early and got dressed and waited for my call. When it came, it was just Roy. My old boss. The man who went to "Show and Tell" with my daughter and read books to her class. The man who stopped in the Maple Leaf Parade just to hug me one year, even after I was long gone from politics. The man who wrote me a note when my stepdad died...and the man who still remembered my children's names. We had a great conversation. His first question was "Steph, what happened? Tell me how this happened?"  Do you know, that was the greatest entry question someone could ask, EVER. He cared to know what did happen and I told him. For 35 minutes, I told him. Good things happened out of that conversation...and no, Missouri Senator Schaaf's name was not even mentioned for those wondering. Not even uttered once.  This was my chance to tell him how it happened to the Addi he knew. This was my chance to tell him what is causing the kids like she was to turn into heroin addicts. 

The next day I got a call from two separate parents who took their kids to get teeth extracted. One got a script for 20 hydros; one got a script for another amount of opiates 
and both sets of parents told me that they would  have not thought about it except for my story and my pounding this issue into their heads. I'm telling you people---your kid can handle some pain. Your kid can handle some discomfort. That is part of life. There is no magic pill to fix every bump and bruise of our bodies or our minds. It will not kill them to have some pain. Addiction can kill them. A sprained ankle will not kill them. Drug addiction will. A separated shoulder will not kill your football player---but him eating opiates like candy can. My son managed to live through it without pain killers. My son had teeth extracted without pain killers. If you insist on getting them filled--monitor them. Don't let them use them for more than a day. They don't need all 20. Don't fill them UNLESS they need them and if you do have to fill them--keep them locked up and monitor them. I cannot reiterate this point to parents enough. YOUR KID CAN HANDLE SOME PAIN WITHOUT OPIATES. 

So for Roy's question..."What happened?" The answer is this...She was sick, in the hospital with mono and tic fever and she had opiates prescribed. I gave them to her like an antibiotic. I thought because they were prescribed, that she needed them. I didn't allow her to feel pain. I had no idea that those medications would grip her soul. I had no idea that she could become addicted to them. Now, my ignorance is your power. Please, try Advil, Aleve, whatever---but do not freely hand over that prescription to your teen. That is exactly what happened to us. The little girl who got read to by Congressman Blunt, now Senator Blunt---became a heroin addict. She wanted to be a school teacher. She deserved better. I should have been smarter. Do not have the regrets that I have about this issue. Be cautious. Be safe. Protect their innocence. 

I've attached below, the letter she wrote Congressman Blunt for coming to her school. The innocence makes me cry. I wish I could go back in time, but I cannot. In the meantime. though, I want to fight for your babies so that you will not miss the signs I did. The face of addiction is in my home. It's in my family. It's here and it CAN happen to you.