So many events and my timing are running together because it all seemed like so much was happening so quickly. Forgive me if I bounce around. I am regretting not writing these things as they were happening.
On Easter Sunday, we went to church at Grace Episcopal in Carthage, which is the church I grew up in with my mom and stepdad. When you walk into the church, there is an "In Memory of Dick Mansfield" right in front your face with Holy Water. Grace Church is where we held the funeral of my stepdad, who was very instrumental in my life. He was also the man who my children depended on as a father figure after my divorce. He was the man who when my daughter was only 7, and told her class that her Papa and Nina were taking her and her brother to Disney World for Spring Break---so her Papa took her to Florida. I spoke at his funeral at this church. Grace Church has not been a comfort to me since that day in November 2006. I can barely walk through the doors without bawling my eyes out. Easter Sunday was different. As I sat down in the pew, I began to peruse the bulletin and noticed not only Addi's name on the prayer list, but noticed my own. I jabbed my niece Emma, sitting next to me and pointed, like "Whattt??? Me??" Emma is precious beyond words. She shrugged her shoulders, and in her cute little smile, she said, "Well, ya need 'em." She was right. I did need the prayers. Every single thing Father Steve said that day, was like he was talking to me. I found comfort there that I hadn't felt in almost ten years.
As Easter festivities ended and the week ahead of me began, I really became nervous about picking her up on that Wed. I was determined that I was not going to allow her to even get inside my heart or mind with any sort of pity. She called me collect again on Monday, to tell me about her tests and to get reassurance that she would be going on Wed. There was a part of me that worried about whether or not she was manipulating me, eager to get out in the world. On Tuesday, the jail took her over so the judge could make a docket to furlough her and release her to me the next day for treatment. My boss said that on that particular day, most were not hardened criminals, but a different group and when the judge heard the word "heroin addict"-even the other people in orange jumpsuits were taken aback. My boss was convinced that Addi was ready for change. I was still not so certain. My son, who had visited her the Friday before, was excited for her. He felt she was ready and he had good feelings about this choice of treatment...however, he was reading his Bible and praying to God this was the answer we had been seeking for so long.
I couldn't sleep at all on Tuesday night. I was so nervous. I got to the jail early so had to wait until the release time. I finally got the signal that I could walk around the back and she would be coming out. She asked me to bring her clothes, which I did, so I didn't have to ride several hours in the car with the stench of her rain soaked clothes from 23 days ago. She walked out and hugged me. Then said "Can we go into the lobby so I can hug everyone goodbye?" "Huh? Hug WHO?" She wanted to go hug the people working in the jail, particularly the Sheriff, his Captain, his lady that worked the commissary, etc. I told her that probably wasn't standard procedure. She told me that they hold church there twice a week. She said "This jail is different. They really care about people." I thought, "Well, that is a good thing."
We had to stop in Carthage because a relative wanted to talk to her before we left. This relative has been in Addi's life since she was 3. He is a strong, quiet, hard working person who says very little about matters that don't involve him. He had made it known, that he had stayed silent too long and wanted to talk to her. I am going to try to keep his identity anonymous, but anyone that knows us, will certainly catch on to his identity pretty quickly. We stopped at his office to see him. (This part still makes me cry even writing it). He took us back into a conference room. I felt I was more nervous than Addi was at this time. He laid down $2000 cash and said "Addi, if I gave you this right now---what would you do with it? If I said, you can have this $2000 cash and my truck...would you drive straight to Teen Challenge?" She looked at him and said "I wouldn't want that cash in my hands to take that risk. I'd like to say I would, but I wouldn't want to have the temptation." They were looking each other straight in the eye. He said, "That is the answer I wanted. It's honest. You don't know your limits yet...that is what you need to say." He then laid down a check for $1200 which was the fee for Teen Challenge deposit and he said "I'm giving you this as a loan. I don't invest in anything that I don't think will give me a good return. I believe you are a good investment. I want you to take this, and if you will complete this program and do the things they ask of you--we are going to have a business proposition together. I will be here for you if you feel you are stumbling, you need to communicate that to me, and I will help get you through it. I want you to keep me posted on my investment and write me about every two weeks. I want you to come up with a plan--what do you want to be? What are your goals? You cannot survive off $7 an hour for the rest of your life. You need a plan...so when you come out of here in 12 months, I will help you finish college and we will reach your goals together...I'll be on your side every step of the way if you do the things you need to do. I believe in you." There were other details that I will leave out, but the look on her face was indescribable. A man she had respected, yet feared, because she had failed her family so many times--was on her side. A man she had utmost respect for and a man who took this conversation very seriously and chose his words carefully. He is a man of few words--but on this day, they were powerful beyond measure. She had someone who believed in her. Someone who she never knew had believed in her before....
God was working miracles and sparking hope in her life yet again...
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