Drug Slang and Secret Codes

Thank you again for the emails of support and encouragement. I really appreciate everyone who reaches out to me and I am glad to help those of you who need information.

I have received a few messages this week from people asking me questions, because they suspect something about their son, daughter or loved one. It brought up a topic that became oh so familiar to me over the last few years---DRUG SLANG and SECRET CODES.

I previously suggested that you look at your children’s Facebook pages and social media sites to see whom their friends are and whom they are talking to that you may not know. I would also like to point out that if your child has their friends list “blocked” to where you can’t see who their friends are, then I would suggest you speak to them about that, especially if they are still in school and/or living under your roof.  

I noticed in the separate world that addicts live, that they have learned many tricks. Blocking their “friend list” from their parents is a first clue that they don’t want you to know what they are doing or with who they are are chatting.  I even got so nosy to the point that I would even creep on their friends’ friends to see if their lists were private. It also raised a flag in my mind if their friends were also secretive. I soon came to realize that the normal average, nothing-to-hide child does not keep their friends a secret.  Yes, I admit it. I became THAT nosy. If I had been a bit more intrusive (yes, its possible) when they were 13, 14, 15 or 16…then perhaps I wouldn’t have had so many issues later down the road. I always trusted my kids and never doubted their motives. Unfortunately, my son has reaped the wrath of his sister’s ability to sneak things past me, so he couldn’t get away with hardly anything. He finally gave up on any sort of privacy and started telling me things that I didn’t even want to know or need to know, just because he knew…I would KNOW. You tend to develop an uncanny ability to have a “gut feeling” which can only go away with building trust. As my husband says, “You gain trust in inches and lose it in miles.”  I’m happy to report that I can see both of my children’s list of friends today (until they read this blog).

Now, I know people will say, “I’m not going to spy on my kids. I trust their judgment.”  Ok, that’s fine. So did I. Your child isn’t like mine, after all…or are they? I agree that they need to be responsible for their judgment and choices when they are out of the home. When they are still living with you and you are footing the bills for their phones, electronics, Internet, and still molding them into human beings, then set some ground rules. Keep the line of communication open. Pay attention if they never want to leave their room, if they are locking their cell phones or hiding names of people in which they are associating. My son made a huge point to me several months ago. He said, “I have decided that it is all about who you choose as friends.”  He is right. A circle of friends is very important. You will notice if they are starting to hang with the wrong crowd, that their good friends will start to disappear and a new bunch will take their place. If you have lived in a town for 10 years and there are kids you do not know, beginning to hang around your children, there is probably a reason. If you don’t know them, ask other parents, ask a teacher, ask other kids. Ask your children.

Another little nifty trick is the “FAKE STATUS CODE”.  This one is really slick. They put things like “I need some batteries, does anyone have some?” That could mean, “ I need some benzos." They tend to say things that is actually a hidden acronym for something else. I learned another one, which was, “Hey, Molly is in town!” I was so naive that I thought it was a reference to my daughter’s longtime friend, named Molly. Well, she was away at college (she's a great girl) and it wasn’t about her.  The definition for Molly is as follows:

“Ecstasy” and "Molly" are slang terms for MDMA, short for 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine, a name that’s nearly as long as the all-night parties where MDMA is often used. That's why MDMA has been called a “club drug.” It has effects similar to those of other stimulants, and it often makes the person feel like everyone is his or her friend, even when that’s not the case.

MDMA is man-made—it doesn't come from a plant like marijuana or tobacco do. Other chemicals or substances—such as caffeine, dextromethorphan (found in some cough syrups), amphetamines, PCP, or cocaine—are sometimes added to, or substituted for, MDMA in Ecstasy or Molly tablets. Makers of MDMA can add anything they want to the drug, so its purity is always in question.

Scary, eh? Yes, it is very scary.

I remember one time I got an “accidental text” after my daughter had moved out of the house. She intended to send it to the boyfriend I loved so much and instead she sent it to me. My son and I were walking into Wal-Mart when I received, “Get me some oc while you are out.”  I thought, “How on earth did she know I was at the store?”  I then got a text that said “I meant OJ, I was sending that to _________.”  My son read it and looked at me funny and then grabbed his phone and started searching the Internet. He said, “OC is Oxycontin. A pain pill.” Her second text should have said, “Holy crap, I just sent you the wrong text.”  Of course I called her out on it and of course I got the usual “Mom, you are paranoid, you love my brother more than me and you always think the worst of me…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH.” I could recite it verbatim because I heard it so many times. I was always assuming the worst and I was usually correct.

Another trend I started noticing was that a lot of these brave souls would put people’s names on a status, for example  “Jim, I need to see you. I must see you today.”  Well, either Jim was buying or Jim was selling. There is also the common, “Jennifer, you need to call me about those shirts I sold you.”  Chances are, Jennifer needs to pay her dealer. So next time you read something and think “Well that’s an odd status”…keep that in your mind.

This isn’t really funny, its pathetic but my husband and I have become expert pill spotters. We can go to the “pill book” or websites and find out anything. One day I turned the recliner upside down and two white pills fell out of it. I panicked and freaked out and scooped them up and had him look them up in his books when he got home. They were white, unmarked pills. He found generic Oxycontin was made in that form. We were just adamant that she must have hidden those in that chair. We have lived in this house for 3 years. She hadn’t been in our home for several months. It made no sense. How on earth would she do that and why?  Surely she remembers that they are there. I thought every bad scenario you could think of at the time, that I had walked in and she had to hide them or that she was sending drug lords to come back and get them…you name it, I thought of it. She had entered treatment and we could not ask her. A few days later, five more came rolling out of the recliner. She called that night, so I asked. She said “Mom, don’t you think I would have taken those if they were in the recliner?”  I said, “Well I just need to know how many were in there, so there aren’t dangerous pills floating around the house…so just tell me the truth.”  She said again, “Mom, I have never hidden anything in your recliner! Trust me, I would not have left them there, I would have taken them!” Well, I didn’t trust her, of course. Another week passed and two more fell out and this time, I turned that thing inside out…and sure enough, in the lining of that chair…was AN OPEN BOTTLE OF BREATH MINTS. Yep, breath mints. No marking, no brand name. They came in a little golf ball container that had opened inside in the chair. She had told the truth and I didn’t believe her. So…being the nosy, intrusive and disapproving parent can also make you crazy.

I look back now at so many things I would catch “now” that I didn’t catch “then” and it’s hard to think about it. I wonder how I could have been so blinded. I think the bottom line is that we all trust our children and think the best about them. Honestly, who wants to believe their child is a liar? Who wants to believe their child is an addict? An addict would have been the furthest thing from my mind. I look back now to times when for instance, both of my children had their wisdom teeth removed. Both got prescription pain pills. My son, ironically enough, didn’t take his and was just fine in a day or so; however, my daughter needed all of hers. “DUH”, right? Honestly though, if you were ignorant to the signs of opiate addiction ---how do you know? How can you guess what another person’s pain threshold is? Well, if they like the opiates, chances are, it’s going to be pretty darn low. My son has had sprained ankles, broken fingers, and other things that the doctor at the ER has written a script for and that script goes in the trash, shredded. He wants no part of pain medication and has found that ibuprofen can do just as much good without the other risks. If I could go back in time, I would have never allowed her to ever take any either, probably even after her car wreck…but once they turn 18, its no longer up to you.

So, my advice is to pay attention, be alert and know your kids and their friends. Learn the power of Google and sites such as drugs.com, noslang.com and Wikipedia. They can teach you almost anything you need to know. I have even Googled their little status codes and amazingly enough, there are a lot of words that are “drug slang” that are very commonly used in their world. Fortunately, there are people who are willing to share that information on the Internet. Your children and/or their friends can teach you almost anything you want to know too, if you just open your eyes.