Keep Spreading the Word...and A False Stigma

I find myself being so adamant about spreading the word on drug issues that I’m turning into “that Mom.”  I find myself standing up for a cause in which I never thought my life would be involved. I never thought I would be the person writing into a news channel saying that I DO agree with the principles of Drug Court; or that I would be pestering the heck out of public officials trying to find out why our county doesn’t have one comparable to other states or other counties. I find myself questioning why, on the State Court website, that the State of Missouri doesn't even recognize that our county has a drug court. Does that mean we don’t have one at all or does that mean it doesn’t comply with the procedures that the State recommends? Does it mean that anyone is keeping statistics on the success rate, failures, amount of offenders in the program? I am waiting to be given the answers to those questions. I waited a week to even write about it, not realizing I would hit such roadblocks of information. Hopefully I can write about that later and give you some educated statistics.

I noticed that the news is getting ready to show a story on Drug Court. I was somewhat blown away that a story I am so passionate about, is getting some public attention. The website for the channel posted a question to the public asking whether they were for or against Drug Court. I just finished reading some man’s opinion that after one drug offense, people should be locked up because chances are “their parents are druggies too.”  Oh yea? Well, with all due respect, Sir,  I’m not an addict. I can even say that my ex husband is not a drug addict…so now what’s your reasoning, because that theory is obviously incorrect. I was watching Sesame Street today with our little fella and Oscar the Grouch was having “Grouchy Mother’s Day”.  Gordon was talking to Oscar and his sister about “Grouchy Mother’s Day” and trying to understand the holiday. Bob walked up and said, “Happy Grouchy Mother’s Day” to Oscar’s mom. Gordon said, “How did you know it was Grouchy Mother’s Day?” He said, “Well, I knew from my cultural awareness calendar.”  I thought, “Are you serious? They are putting these political correctness issues in the heads of young children?”  The more I thought about it; maybe it’s what needs to be done. I can honestly say that the things that were found acceptable when my parents were young; or when I was young;  or even when my children were young, are now much different. Does that mean times have changed their beliefs or that people were just not as educated as they are now? I’m by no means saying addiction awareness is the same as human rights issues. They are completely separate issues.  However, I do believe that people need to be educated about addiction, the disease itself and that ignoring a problem can create a bigger problem.

I have some friends who are from a “fleet” of 9 children. Out of those 9 children, 2 became addicts.  The other children could drink a beer or two and be just fine. All raised in the same house; all had the same mom and dad; all faced the same adversities; and yet 2 were addicts. How does that happen? Mom and Dad weren’t addicts and the rest of the children are successful upstanding human beings. Are you telling me that Mom loved any of those children more than the others? Heck no. I guarantee she didn’t.

The sigma of drug addiction is so inaccurately portrayed in the public eye, that is is frustrating to a person like me, who is trying to not only help my own child, but to help other children as well.  It's almost like being thrown out at first base, when you are trying to run to 3rd. It feels sometimes that no one wants to talk about it, think about it or discuss the issues surrounding the legal and economic issues that compound due to it. I think because of that stigma, that more people do not discuss it  publicly which is severely disabling the ability to find solutions and bring awareness. I don't know of any high school kid that wants to be the poster child to renew the “Just Say No” campaign and I find that sad. It’s sad that there is such pressure on our children that they feel safer drinking underage than to speak out against addiction. I remember MADD becoming a force in my area as I was growing up in Southwest Missouri. My 4^th grade teacher had become active in it, after a drunk driver had struck his son, who was a bicyclist. I knew nothing about drinking and driving until that teacher started speaking out about the issue. His personal views and feelings regarding the issue, opened the eyes of a lot of children. After that time, MADD became a huge organization in this country. If children were raised to feel that the drug problem could also creep into their lives, then maybe they wouldn’t be so fearful of telling their family, if and when that problem were to become a reality.

I have received several messages and emails from people reaching out for help. I think that is an awesome thing. If in ONE week, I can reach ONE person…then think of the people YOU could reach if you spread the word too. In one of the emails, it was from a person I didn’t expect to hear from and didn’t particularly want to hear from and it stopped my heart when I saw the name in my inbox. It was from a person I had held a lot of resentment for things that happened with my family. They reached out to me and apologized and said they had no idea it was my blog until they started reading and then it hit them. It compelled them to apologize to me, which is part of the 12 Step Program.  At first, it caught me off guard for not only the reasons of personal nature, but the fact that this person was reaching out to me. Here I was, talking to someone else’s child, someone else’s brother or sister, who was no different that my own child. This person is battling the same hell as my daughter. It occurred to me that they deserved the same support as she does in my eyes. I can’t say, “My daughter deserves treatment but you deserve jail!”  How fair is that? If I’m going to support the theory that it is a disease, then I have to support it for everyone, correct? Well, not really. In this particular case, I actually do believe the person needs help; however, I do not believe that people who manufacture Meth, who distribute drugs, who peddle pills to our kids, should be given a light penalty. What you probably don’t know is that a lot of drug dealers do not use drugs. They just sell them to our kids to get them hooked. Some of the small time dealers do use drugs to support their habit, but the big wigs from the big cities that are trickling this crap into our sweet little towns, are likely not even using the drugs they are selling. THOSE are the people that should not be given chances. Those people are the ones who should be off the street. If that takes arresting the middlemen in between, then so be it—but it’s not solving the bigger problem and that has become painfully obvious.

By the way, my daughter read my blogs Friday night. She said "Wow mom, you really put it all out there."  She said it was therapeutic to her to read it and I encouraged her to start writing too. It was a great relief to know that she finally got the opportunity to sit down and read and that I had her approval. This is a topic she and I both agree needs more public attention.

So…. if you or your family need help, please feel free to message me. I would be happy to steer you in the right direction. If you are from a lucky family that doesn't deal with these issues, please continue spreading the word so that others can be helped. Please help me break the stigma of addiction, so that we can start educating more people and hopefully, lead other people to treatment.  Since my last blog, there were three people in my help group, who have lost their children. Please keep them in your prayers.